Hungry Investor Pillows

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

I have a dream.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

'Harley manages our most aggressive growth fund.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

At The Clown Bank.

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'After I bought those stocks of Chinese companies, I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

'I don't want your wallet. I want venture capital.'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Low-Rent Stockholders