Keen Investor Pillows

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Saving for College.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

'What my stocks did during my summer vacation...'

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

I have a dream.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'The prince and the princess lived happily ever after on their profits from capital-appreciation funds.'

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

"We shouldn't have sent him to summer financial camp. Today he turned down a new soccer ball--he didn't like its yield to maturity."

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'