Humorous Romance Pillows

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Call me?"

Sexual chemistry set

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Dog in love

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

Reading the sports pages.

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"Honk if you love me!"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Shuck me.'

Aging Problems

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'