Humorous Romance Pillows

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Call me?"

Sexual chemistry set

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Reading the sports pages.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

Dog in love

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"Honk if you love me!"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Shuck me.'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

Aging Problems

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'