Humorous Pet Stories Pillows

'Some watchdog you turned out to be!'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Cat Gets Hole in One.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'No need to shout.'

Man wearing a dog cone

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

When Pugs dream.

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

Doggie Bowl Drill

"It's OK! Stop splashing!"

Cat Show - Sheds Most

'Play dead.'

Hooked on fried sardines, Irene's cat leads them on a life of crime.

When the cats realized that Hubert had permanently taken over their favourite couch, they took action.

"I try and try, but I never sound like that."

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

"I'm always afraid I'll come to just as I'm being flushed down the toilet."

"It's OK, but I thought an Xbox would be something I could climb into."

101 uses of a dead cat: pneumatic drill.

"I'm tripping over bernedoodles, labradoodles, goldendoodles, schnoodles and cockapoos, ...and you want me to somehow believe you're not sleeping around?"

Although Bowser did seem to understand the concept of being house-trained.....

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

'What am I blind, Bob?'

"I think my name is 'stop that' but I don't know for sure."