Humorous Perspectives Gifts

"… and then Roger discovered fly fishing and I discovered Gregory."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Yes, all at once!'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"I might just get a pie."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

The Scottish Lawn

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"When did this game get started?"

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

'Ok, ok, what about this one? There was an Irishman, an Italian and an Englishman ..'

'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'People just aren't as committed as they used to be.'

'...And a bottle of Bollinger '61 if you please Fred...'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know where 'this is'. I, too, am a stranger here.'

Swiss Referendum

'Look, think positively, it's not that bad being a Lab-Rat: It beats living in a sewer most days...'

"Sure, we live in a cave but do we have to dress like we live in a cave?"

Pot Needles

'How come your notebook has a sudoku puzzle on it?'

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'But Steve, it still doesn't make you kosher!'

"Kfetch!"

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.