Humorous Holiday Spirit Pillows

'I'll grant you, he's generous when it comes to giving...but when has he ever bought a round ?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Claus 2.0

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Night of the Latkes

High security Santa's grotto

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

Piranhaclaus

That one has all the batteries!

Hiding the electronics.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Ninja bread men"

Elfie Stick

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Fish snorkling above water.