Humorous Hoa Member Gifts

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'What'll it be?'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'We want you to take the hindmost.'

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

'I'll get back to you when I'm myself, Eddie.'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

'Miss Ryder, I'm ready to start executing.'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

'I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to make CEO.'

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

"I've notices that you seem to be in the office 15 hours a day. . ."

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

When he was between Executive Assistants, filing became a challenge for Jonathan.

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

'All work and no play may make you dull, but it also makes you Vice President.'

'They didn't kick me upstairs after all -- they threw me down the elevator shaft!'

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'