Humorous Hedonic Gifts

I've started so I'll finish...

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Sexual chemistry set

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Jump-Rope Rhymes For Adults

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

Frankly, I'm not as interested in resisting temptation as I am in finding it!

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

"That's such a clever title: I love a good pun..."

Your eyelids are growing heavy … No, wait … Better yet, your lips are growing heavy … !!!

'Look pal, we're friends and all, but you need to get out more, meet some people...'

Cartoon Crisis. . . Biden's already causing problems!

Love Mix Ups.

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

"Will you call me?"

"Wait a second- is that organic?"

"Tag. . . you're it!"

Snowman making a snowwoman

Quality Assurance

'About this 'smart phone' I wished for. My second wish is that you show me how to use it.'

"He's normally not affectionate, but he has really taken a liking to you!2

Even up

"How 'bout a goodnight sniff?"

"Think of all the thirsty plants in Africa!"

The Yacht

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers...

"He has a hundred runs against his name. That's his bowling of course."