Hedonism Enthusiast Gifts

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

American Venn diagram

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

Nikolai Gogol

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

Backdoor

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'It counts as one of your five portions a day.'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

"To the fact that martinis have no cholesterol, gluten, or GMOs...."

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

Left Luggage

'Make sure he gets plenty of fruit.'

'It's one of your five a day.'

"You'll have to give up the wine and the women. It's OK to sing, but only in moderation."

"As a political consultant, you don't need to know what's right or wrong...just what's right of left."

Virginia Woolf.

I've started so I'll finish...

'I hate snakes.'

'Maybe I'll die earlier because I drink, smoke and eat too much. But at least, I'll die happily!'

101 uses of a dead cat: pipe tamper.