Hedonism Gifts

No Shame. Please help.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

Leak in the fish tank.

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

Happy hour.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

"I like fountains very much!"

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up way out here!"

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

Frankly, I'm not as interested in resisting temptation as I am in finding it!

First Church of Whatever Works for You.

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

The synchronized shower event.

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'They come down here to smoke.'

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'