Hedonism Gifts

No Shame. Please help.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Leak in the fish tank.

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Happy hour.

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

"I like fountains very much!"

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up way out here!"

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

First Church of Whatever Works for You.

The synchronized shower event.

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'They come down here to smoke.'

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."