Humorous Gift Exchange Pillows

Trump: Burger King

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It is my place!"

Labrador Non-retriever

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

Traffic calming ahead.

Bagel problems.

Solitaire card shark.

Tinder

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

Dogs with alcohol collars.

December 24th and the December 26th.

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

"You ain't gitting on this train until I git off first."

The final secret-santa gift exchange between the Greeks and the Trojans.

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

CATS ONLY!

Santa Claus

Helicopter as a clothes drier

A.I. Newreader Malfunctions. . . or does it?

"I'm not letting down my hair, I'm just overdue for a trim."

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'

'You know I gave up sex and booze. . .it was the toughest ten minutes of my like.'

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"I have this 'I love Susie' tattoo on my chest and I married Doreen yesterday!"

You know you can't return it. Mother had a GPS microchip sewn into the lining.

'I want to exchange these toys from last year that I never asked for!'

"You've had enough!"

"And your reason for returning the sweater?"

santa claus megaphone.