Humorous Food Critic Gifts

Mad Cow

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Garlic Free Zone.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Cat eats date.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'