Humorous Family Moments Fan Pillows

'I'm looking forward to when he's 5 years old so I can boss him around.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

Adult Absence Notes.

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Meerkats - A Family Portrait

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

"Well, if you've got 'nothing to wear' why am I constantly doing laundry?"

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'I don't like the look of yours...'