Humorous Barfly Gifts

"It's really a lot of fun…. The unemployed men's chorus."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Catnip for everyone."

'Fried chickens.'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

"What would you like me to play next?"