Humorist With A Flair For Design Pillows

"You also get a choice of finishes ? flat, semigloss or satan."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Town Planning Department

'If the GPC built office blocks!'

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

'Oh, I think I know exactly what the artist is saying. He's saying; 'With a bit of luck, some idiot will buy this junk'!'

'Mystery solved! Someone put the model of the building into the cupboard and the client took the salt cellar.'

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

'Design brief.'

"Reproduction furniture."

I'm sorry, but Mr. Peters isn't seeing anyone today. He's busy maintaining his deniability.

Fire Escapes

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

Budget Recliner

A giant ape struggles to climb twin towers.

Designer

"We've got to strike the setup. The patron wants organic."

"Well I hope this one lasts longer than last year's."

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'I think the flat screen TV goes well next to my flat headed husband.'

Duck has human t-shirts on wall.

"I hate these tower blocks. . ."

Cartoon elephant with speech bubble written in elefont

"Do you know what DFS stands for? Designed for Scratching."