Home Design Humorist Pillows

"We'll take it."

'Oh, shoot! That's an 'H.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'What are my priorities? Take this huge closet and build a house around it!'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Duvet nailed to the floor.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Town Planning Department

How to Build a Bungalow

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'If the GPC built office blocks!'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Dog Bookends

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"Buying the largest TV on the market was a good idea. Mounting it was not."

Carpet Cows

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'