Humorist With A Fitness Twist Pillows

"It's an Apple watch I use it to count my step."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Bench Press Accident

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Keep Fit.

Old Karate Master

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'Climbing up a chair to take a bag of potato crisps out of the cupboard five times a day does nor count as exercise, sir!'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"One slice—hold the bread."

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Still on your left."

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

"Eat lots of carrots."