Humorist On Modernity Pillows

"It's right now, but what happens when the clocks go forward?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

Snowman Driver

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Lemonade App: $1"

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

"Bloody Cyclops!"

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

The Power of 3D Glasses.

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

'Do you remember the good old days when actual dollar bills were dangled in front of us?'

With friends like you...

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

Rocket charmer.

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Hits Needed, please click.

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

Explorers discover the last contrarian without a podcast.