Humor Life Adventurer Gifts

"I figure you're the reason sexy left in the first place."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Man fishing with large bait

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Destiny is all...

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Stick Your Head Out The Window

"The adventures of Robin Hood are becoming a lot less adventurous."

"Sorry. Full."

The fact he was a neutered housecat never stood in the way of Mr. Whiskers' dream.

Hijinks of the Colonial Era

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

Exclamation road sign says 'OMG'

A Cave Painting

Harold's problem is that he puts his pants on two legs at a time.

"I didn't spend seventeen days climbing this bloody mountain, in all weathers, for a lecture on personal hygiene!"

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Great --- Starting from scratch again.

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

'You should consider yourself most fortunate - I don't often do things for charity!'

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'