Humor In Utility Gifts

Hippie Army Knife

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

AA Meeting Here Today

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"Waiter!"

Bureaucratic castle

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'A table near a waiter please.'

Hot Water from the bath.

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."

"Dibs on the tall one!"

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the World Series is over before turning off my electricity?'

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

'Vienna Brass Ensemble'

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

'Oh yes, you need specific credentials to be a town planner.'

'Would you care for a drink while you're being ignored?'

The poop scooper maid.

"This is going to be kind of a working lunch."

Food's great, but the service is terrible!

Sorry about that, I'll have it back on in a jiffy!

Slow food organization office.

'Confound it, Osgood -- Where's your necktie?'

"I said it's not often one gets one's chimney swept by a person with a B.A. from Sarah Lawrence."