Humor In Hospitality Gifts

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Bed and Breakfast

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'Your ten percent tip.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'What a bargain!'

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'I see the Maids have been in!'

Graffiti on baseboard.

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

Bed or breakfast.

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

Pull Grandma's Plug...

'Waiter! There's a . . . oh, never mind.'

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

No petting in the pool!

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

'We're really sorry!'