Humor In Hospitality Prints

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

Bed and Breakfast

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Your ten percent tip.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'What a bargain!'

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'I see the Maids have been in!'

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

Graffiti on baseboard.

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

Bed or breakfast.

Pull Grandma's Plug...

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

No petting in the pool!

'We're really sorry!'

"Do you have a room for a couple of knights?"