Hospitality Humor Lover Gifts

It was too late; the waiter had already imprinted on Ted.

Booze drip.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"Valet park only"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Opening the Barrel

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Complementary Beverages

With Compliments

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."