Hospitality Humor Lover Pillows

It was too late; the waiter had already imprinted on Ted.

I'm glad you're out of the hospital, little buddy. Hasn't been the same here without you. Really? Yes, really, When you're here, I appear to be even more handsome and muscular than usual, just by comparison. Can you believe I couldn

Booze drip.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Cardiac Recovery.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Valet park only"

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

Opening the Barrel

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

With Compliments

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Complementary Beverages