Humor Hotshot Gifts

'Good news is that after two weeks buried in this desert, nobody will call us 'Paleface' anymore!'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Garden variety allergies."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Spot Quiz....

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Burnout Syndrome...

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Soccer coach of the year.

"Nasty sunburn."

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Namasteak"

Milkjet Skiing

"I'm afraid that you have gnumonia."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

'Camel'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"