Hot Spot Humorist Gifts

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

Gangsta wrap.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Hipster Police Department

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Hot dog warmer

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

'Good news is that after two weeks buried in this desert, nobody will call us 'Paleface' anymore!'

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"Money or your beard!"

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

Smiley

'You're being ridiculous, Bob - I have NOT been ogling the 12 point buck!'

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'