Humor Detectives Gifts

Nick the Stereo.

A boy acting suspiciously

Safety Barriers

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'You're an inspector now?'

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

The Banana Crime

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

'He died of too much money.'

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

'I've dealt with it - he's sitting on the naughty step thinking about his behaviour.'

'What's this rumor I hear, that they're putting saltpeter in Meals-On-Wheels!'

"Ha! I found you . . . and with my wife!"

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

I overheard management saying they were kicking you but I didn't hear if it was upstairs or out.

Golf Crime Scene.

'Is it true what they say'

"Good evening madam. Would you like to donate your soul to a newly registered charity?"

'Now they're saying our financing is being pulled. I'd love to know how these crazy rumors get started.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Asbo Land

"It says here you're never too old for sex." "At least not the way you do it."

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

Both human and pillow police work together to solve yet another double homicide.

'Do you know he's got body parts in that suitcase?'

"Looks like our school district is going to change again."

They Shop Among Us

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'