Humor Detectives Prints

Nick the Stereo.

A boy acting suspiciously

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

Safety Barriers

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

'You're an inspector now?'

Messing Up My Metrics

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

The Banana Crime

'He died of too much money.'

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'I've dealt with it - he's sitting on the naughty step thinking about his behaviour.'

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

I overheard management saying they were kicking you but I didn't hear if it was upstairs or out.

Golf Crime Scene.

'What's this rumor I hear, that they're putting saltpeter in Meals-On-Wheels!'

'What's with all the Pumpkin Pies?'

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

"Ha! I found you . . . and with my wife!"

"Good evening madam. Would you like to donate your soul to a newly registered charity?"

'Is it true what they say'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

'Now they're saying our financing is being pulled. I'd love to know how these crazy rumors get started.'

"Looks like our school district is going to change again."

'Fred,you've got to do something about those hiccups.'

Asbo Land

"It says here you're never too old for sex." "At least not the way you do it."

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'

Both human and pillow police work together to solve yet another double homicide.