Detective Humor Prints

12 Days Without a Botched Case

Why Lemmings Rarely Make Detectives

A boy acting suspiciously

Safety Barriers

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'You're an inspector now?'

Yes, you are speaking to Grandma.

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'He died of too much money.'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

Piñata police line-up.

'I've dealt with it - he's sitting on the naughty step thinking about his behaviour.'

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

Catburglar's anonymous. Sign saying 'door not in use'.

I've heard of on-line banking, but I think this may be the first ever attempt at an armed, on-line bank robbery!"

"Ha! I found you . . . and with my wife!"

...Mr.Colman is busy right now - he's burning some books.

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'What's with all the Pumpkin Pies?'

Golf Crime Scene.

Oh, sorry, I didn

"And this time, Figgis, try to play it as if you are not using 'forged notes'."

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"Good evening madam. Would you like to donate your soul to a newly registered charity?"

Criminal Profiling ID Parade

'No thanks, I don't except suites from neighbours.'

"I'm still not sure which one of them took my wallet. Maybe if they took off their shirts again."