Humor About Donations Gifts

"Is it a sin to think of them as gives and give nots?"

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Bagel problems.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

Sonny Bono - Singer/US Congressman.

Corporate Head to others at meeting: 'Today is financial Arbor Day. We're going to find some worthwhile charity and plant a money tree.'

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

'Calm down. I heard them say we're just going into town for haircuts.'

"And if anything goes wrong I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

The Warren Buffet Effect - Thank you For Not Asking How Much I Gave to Charity.

'Bascombe has put all his mutual fund assets into a blind trust, but it was set up so well he can't even locate it.'

"We steal gold from the rich and sell it to a metals broker. They make a prfit on their buy and sell spread and share a portion of that with us. Then, after the skimming and the rebates, we give to the poor."

"What's the current return on investment?"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth."

'It's 'Wolverines Without Borders'. . . They want you to perform classic Fusco material in development countries where people don't have access to the comics.'

FIRST NATIONAL, TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

"If I change my name to Red Cross, can I keep the donations?"

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

Ladies-Gents-Whatever

"He's better at begging than I am."

"I'd like to help you out, but I've misplaced my wand."

'Then one day money no longer turned me on, so I decided to give it all away to a young dame named 'Charity'.'

santa claus megaphone.

"I contributed a lot to charity when I thought I was going to die."

The Supremes Make Me Sick

"Yeah, I like that street too! The guy at No 12 has really nice-tasting blood..."

"I do give until it hurts, I just have a low pain tolerance."

Lost and Found

Spare change donation machine next to vending machines.

"If you tithe a full 10%, not only will you get your name on the pride wall but for a limited time you will also get one of these T-shirts."

The Man Who Exposed Himself