Humble Sommelier Gifts

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Just the one...

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Jesus Christ

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

Wine-tasting Tour.

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"You consistently lied about the size of the fish you caught. Well....we've all done that."

Jesus Seals the Hick...

Caution Fragile

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

"Oh no, it's far too tart"

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

(I'm tasting berries with deep earth overtones and a definite hint of almond) (That would be the Cyanide.)

Grape vines think alike.

'All I can say is, if you like trying new beers and hate having money, this is the one for you.'

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

'A regular chip off the old bottle.'

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

'Jack lost his job as a door-to-door salesman. He went through 7 cases of samples before ringing his first doorbell.'

"Of course only buying 'organic' CAN be expensive! Another pea anyone?"

Wine bottle placed in plaster cask from broken leg.