Humble Homemaker Gifts

'This one is a dieter's dream! Any visits to it between meals and it self destructs!'

Domestic Superheroes!!

Hungry child

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"I had to skip my workout."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

Moving in

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

Amy Sedaris

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

Child doing the washing up

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

Search for Missing Socks

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'That's the last time I fluff up a nest.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"You've got termites."

Housewife with her toddler hooked on the end of the mop.

'Work, school, soccer, shopping, aside from the occassional girl's night out, today's Mom doesn't have time to sit picking ticks and fleas.'