Harmonious Homemaker Gifts

Feng Shui

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Modern Parents

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

Jesus swept.

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."

Romance over the Irons

'There's something you should know about washable wallpaper,pet!'

"I'm running a loose ship."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

"Finally, something I know I'll finish."

"I figured one of us should use it!"

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

Swiss Army Wife

Wallpapering.

Rabbits on Pinterest

"It was cute when the cat just played with a ball of wool, but this is getting out of hand!"

"Sorry, but my mum doesn't want me to invite friends over: She's kind of ashamed we live in a pigsty..."

'This one is a dieter's dream! Any visits to it between meals and it self destructs!'

'How would you like a whirlpool bath?'

Breakfast in Bed for Housewife

Cat and dog

And on the Eighth Day God Just Puttered Around the House

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

Bad Housekeeping: The Magazine For Women Who Couldn't Care Less

"We tried a vegan Thanksgiving this year, but our family still showed up."