Housing Policy Nerd Gifts

Unsocial housing.

"Good boy."

Mario Draghi

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

'The recession is over, again.'

"Tariffs"

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

Tree of Public Opinion.

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

From Street Walker to Call Girl

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Arrest Them Later

House hunting is cruel.

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

EU - Constitution

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

Victim of Sequestration!

'Get the media over here! I want them to see how well my jobs program is working.'

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'