Housing Policy Maker Gifts

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Homeless count.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"Hmmm, as far as I can gather, unfortunately, it is an eviction notice: we need to find a new home. . ."

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

"There, that's better!"

"Sorry honey, but moving boxes are sold out everywhere because of the rising rents..."

Foreclosure.

Pop-up neighborhood

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

"Just to let you know - we're putting up your rent again..."

Cut and Paste.

Real estate: 'Sure, it's a long commute, but the price is right!'

"Star Wars. . . Batman. . . Pirates. . . What we should be building is affordable housing."

Unsocial housing.

'You're a single person on benefits with too many rooms - we're downsizing you!'

'Of course, for the compact budget we offer the Shelterette Programme.'

"It's 'affordable' if you can afford it."

Low Budget Real Estate

"This so called bedroom tax has really hit a raw nerve with your Sid hasn't it!!"

'Housing shortage, what housing shortage?'

'They've rejected a number of offers. I guess they're in no hurry to sell.'

Unseemly/Unaffordable

'Try not to think of it as a BOX, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!'