Housing Market Pessimist Gifts

"Oh, they're simply looking for newly available apartment openings."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

A wholly owned subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

Battery Farm Housing

Affordable housing

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

"Can we close before the next Fed meeting?"

Home seller has given up after reducing price many times.

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

'That's the Government for you every time.'

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

'I don't think you have quite grasped the principal behind sheltered housing.'

'Here's a nice one, 'The Oaks', but where are the oaks?'