Housing Market Hawk Gifts

"Can we close before the next Fed meeting?"

"Your home is your most valuable asset."

'Stay alert. It could be a mortgage time bomb!'

A wholly owned subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

'We're not getting much response on the doorstep.'

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Try not to think of it as a box, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!"

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Real Estate Personals

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Home Foreclosed Home.

'It's all about location, location, location!'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

House hunting is cruel.

Turtle Home

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.