Housing Market Hawk Pillows

"Can we close before the next Fed meeting?"

"Your home is your most valuable asset."

'Stay alert. It could be a mortgage time bomb!'

A wholly owned subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

'We're not getting much response on the doorstep.'

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Real Estate Personals

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"Try not to think of it as a box, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!"

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

Home Foreclosed Home.

'It's all about location, location, location!'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

Turtle Home

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.

House hunting is cruel.