Housework Warriors Pillows

"You hate ironing? Me too."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

A DIY disaster.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Washing Line Walker

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'But you said to clean my room.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Resume Dumpers

Run, Mike, Run!

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"