Home Maintenance Warrior Pillows

'I found the termites!'

Captain Pointy No.26 - Never at ease with house work

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Man using to much bug spray

Yardless: Please help

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

The household cavalry

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Product Testing Department