Housework Warrior Pillows

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Before you go toodling off with the boys, you're going to help me with the spring cleaning!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A DIY disaster.

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Washing Line Walker

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'But you said to clean my room.'