Housework Strategist Pillows

'My spring cleaning got spring fever.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

A DIY disaster.

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Washing Line Walker

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'But you said to clean my room.'

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"How did you get him to do housework?"

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

Washing Machine Torture

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."