Household Chore Strategists Pillows

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'My spring cleaning got spring fever.'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Laundry day?"

"And if he decides not to empty the dishwasher, can I recommend a half Nelson, forearm smash, followed by a Boston crab."