Household Chore Strategists Pillows

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'My spring cleaning got spring fever.'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

Tunnel of Laundry.

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Laundry day?"

The Toilet paper roll...do they magically appear on the holders?

'Because you told me to run the house like a business.'