Household Chore Challenger Pillows

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'If we keep the grass short, predators are less likely to sneak up unnoticed...'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

Tunnel of Laundry.

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"

Presents.

The Toilet paper roll...do they magically appear on the holders?