Household Chore Champion Pillows

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

Rhonda would somehow always manage to enlarge her clothes when doing laundry.

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'My wife gave me that one for washing the windows.'

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

Wife taking a photo of her husband and their shoveled walk-way

"Just empty it."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Tunnel of Laundry.

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

'Did they have anything at the job centre?'

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'