Home Chore Champion Pillows

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Kitchen Tetris

The Last Leaf

Family working together

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'My wife gave me that one for washing the windows.'

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

Wife taking a photo of her husband and their shoveled walk-way

"I'm helping Mom wash the dishes."

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"You must be married, and well trained."

"Hey - we could do with another light bulb. . !"

A day of domestics...

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

How to communicate with a man.