Household Chore Conqueror Pillows

"Guess what? I did the laundry!"

"My wife is into D.I.Y. When something needs doing, she says 'do it yourself'..."

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

To Do List.

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

"Well, it will just have to wait."

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

Tunnel of Laundry.

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

'Washing dishes, why?'