Household Chore Conqueror Pillows

"Guess what? I did the laundry!"

"My wife is into D.I.Y. When something needs doing, she says 'do it yourself'..."

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

To Do List.

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Tunnel of Laundry.

"Well, it will just have to wait."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"

'Since you're up there would you mind cleaning out the gutter, dear?'