Household Chore Tactician Pillows

"And if he decides not to empty the dishwasher, can I recommend a half Nelson, forearm smash, followed by a Boston crab."

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"