Household Chore Tactician Gifts

"And if he decides not to empty the dishwasher, can I recommend a half Nelson, forearm smash, followed by a Boston crab."

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Tunnel of Laundry.

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"