Housekeeping Rebel Gifts

Housewife: Out of Order.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"I didn't spark joy."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"I had to skip my workout."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Cook and her Maids

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Bathroom Fairy

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

Do not think outside the box!

The household cavalry

TV and cleaner

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."