Housekeeping Rebel Gifts

Housewife: Out of Order.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"I didn't spark joy."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"I had to skip my workout."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Bathroom Fairy

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

Cook and her Maids

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

The household cavalry

Do not think outside the box!

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."